“A tree that is unbending is usually broken.” – Loa Tzu

When I knew …..

I was living just outside of New Orleans with my long-time partner. I received a call from my stepdad. He tells me that mom is in the hospital. Something is wrong with her stomach. He was not able to elaborate. He was 85 years old at the time.

I waited a day and didn’t hear anything back. I tried to call, over and over, that day. No answer. No voicemail. I became frantic. Mom is 84. I spoke to my partner about my concerns. We packed a few items, jumped in the van and headed towards Ohio.

I arrive at the hospital. Mom had appendix surgery. I thought it was odd that dad couldn’t tell me that. It’s a common surgery. Mom appeared in good health and would be coming home in a couple of days, after she had a few BMs and satisfied the nurse, lol.

I stayed at the house while mom recovered. Man, it smelled bad! She has now taken on 5 stray cats that poop wherever they want. Cat pans in every corner, poop and pee as well. Mom has always been a cat lover so what could I do? The refrigerator was filled with old leftovers. I began cleaning them out. Dad pipes in and tells me there is nothing wrong with them. Really dad? Do you see the mold? Then there was the pantry. Cans and bottles of food from 10 years ago. I try to throw away some ketchup that had clearly been used and not put in the fridge. Dad pipes up again, “don’t throw that away”. I try to explain that it is brown. It should be red and it’s supposed to be kept in the refrigerator. “I’ve never kept it in there before”. (Small red flag).

I go to make myself some toast and jelly. I open the jelly jar and the smell attacks my nose! It’s fermented!!! Again, I show mom and dad and they tell me they never keep jelly in the fridge. I go out and buy more jelly and use a black permanent marker to circle “REFRIGERATE AFTER OPENING”.

I start to think to myself that, this is probably why my mom has had stomach problems for the past several years. She’s been eating rotten food!

Then there were the accusations. “Someone stole 3 of my books, my scarf, and my lipstick”, my mom says, daily. The only thing I could think of was when my nieces would stay the night at Christmas. They were young teens and it happens. I mention this. BIG mistake! It becomes an obsession. She yells at my stepdad daily about them as if it’s his fault. 

I decide tgo get a list from her of the books she says are missing. I find them. She doesn’t apologize to dad. She doesn’t admit she was wrong, as most people would do. (small red flag). She continues to obsess and comes up with a story about 3 little girls that she saw go in the back door, while she was in the garden. She goes on to say that she knows that were after her jewelry and probably ran out the front door. Okay, this is getting weird! 

Now I KNOW something is wrong
(questions? email: rutheremom@yahoo.com)

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Does any of this sound familiar to you? 

Someone in the world develops dementia every 3 seconds. There were an estimated 46.8 million people worldwide living with dementia in 2015 and this number is believed to be close to 50 million people in 2017. This number will almost double every 20 years, reaching 75 million in 2030 and 131.5 million in 2050. Much of the increase will be in developing countries. Already 58% of people with dementia live in low and middle-income countries, but by 2050 this will rise to 68%. The fastest growth in the elderly population is taking place in China, India, and their south Asian and western Pacific neighbors.  

Alz.co.uk

There are many different types of dementia. According to the National Institute on Aging, the most common is Alzheimer’s disease. Other types include:

• Lewy body dementia
• frontotemporal dementia
• vascular disorders
• mixed dementia, or a combination of types

There are 10 typical early signs of dementia. For a person to receive a diagnosis, they would usually experience two or more of these symptoms, and the symptoms would be severe enough to interfere with their daily life.

These early signs of dementia are:

• Memory loss. …
• Difficulty planning or solving problems. …
• Difficulty doing familiar tasks. …
• Being confused about time or place. …
• Challenges understanding visual information. …
• Problems speaking or writing. …
• Misplacing things. …
• Poor judgment or decision-making.

medicalnewstoday.com

My mother displayed only a few of these symptoms. She still appeared and acted as she always did. She put makeup on and did her hair every day. She took pride in dressing nicely even if she wasn’t planning on going anywhere. The house was, for the most part, clean. However, dad seemed to do most of it. Even the nasty cat pans!

In this blog I will chronicle stories from the last 3 years. I will offer tips and tricks for difficult situations. Feel free to email your questions to: rutheremom@yahoo.com